About and Who’s Who

Retired teacher moves to France with  grumpy husband, (Bear), handicapped ex-husband (Whale), son (Jay), daughter (CC) and six cats. A recipe for friction. . . . . .

Bear is 86, and a typical Gemini. It’s like living with two people – one a teddy Bear and the other a Bear with a sore head.

Whale is 82, my ex-husband, who became paralysed  15years ago after an undiagnosed prostate cancer metastased into a tunour close to his spine. The doctors gave him six weeks to live but a homeopath friend of ours took him under her wing and prescribed remedies which worked. Gradually some feeling and movement returned and hecould walk a little with the help of his walking frame. Three monthly injections of Zoladex keep the prostate cancer at bay. The other tumour shrank away thanks to homeopathic treatment However, Whale  is obsessed with his medical ‘rights’ and complains loudly if the physios can’t come or the ambulance is late.  Following a serious infection last Easter (2013) he is now confined to bed or wheelchair and a new system of care has been put in place.

My marriage to Bear was pretty miserable and so when I retired, I decided to come over to France and look after the Whale so that Jay and CC could be relieved from looking after their handicapped dad.

But it didn’t work out according to plan and we now have two unemployed adults living at home. It’s a great help for me but it’s also a waste of two young(ish) lives.

Bear begged and pleaded to be allowed to come and live with us as well – so that he could ‘help’  – and although it was pretty obvious he wanted to be looked after as well, we gave in and let him move in.

You could say the advantages of that decision are far outweighed by the disadvantages but it’s too late to send him back to England to manage on his own.

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6 Responses to “About and Who’s Who”

  1. Susie Vereker Says:

    Just read through a few of your posts – phew. I’m at a loss as to what to say, Sablonneuse, except that I respect the way you cope.

    Thanks for coming by, Susie. As long as I can keep a sense of humour I’ll survive.

  2. stinking Billy Says:

    If, indeed, my memory loss does worsen and turn into full-blown Alzheimer’s, I won’t hestitate to seek you out and come and be nursed by you. Why not? Two invalid men are no good to any woman as capable as you obviously are – you need at least three! 😉

    Hello, welcome to the blog but that may be as far as you get. . . .

  3. mythster Says:

    Odd coincidence. I came across “Sablonneuse” on Ronni’s Blog “As Time Goes By” and found the name intriguing. I have been in a love/hate relationship with “La Belle France” since I first went to live in Paris in the early 1950’s. I have been married twice to french women and two of my daughter’s have lived there for all of their adult lives. Now, for many reasons, I am seriously pondering a return to the place where I “came of age”, opened my heart and mind, and discovered what “La belle vie” could be. Politics, medical care, proximity to family for my wife and myself and in general “la qualite de vie”/lifestyle all have a bearing on my decision. I will peruse your site(s) carefully- maybe I’ll find some answers.

  4. Holly Cara Price Says:

    thanks for posting on my blog. now its my turn to post on yours! its lovely to be back in la belle france if only for a few minutes.

  5. Trevor Kubiak Says:

    I would like to use your article about the neighbours funeral and one or two of the comments, on a new website i am developing. Could/would you give permission to use it. I would give you credit for writing and a link to your website. Thank you.

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