About and Who’s Who
Retired teacher moves to France with grumpy husband, (Bear), handicapped ex-husband (Whale), son (Jay), daughter (CC) and six cats. A recipe for friction. . . . . .
Bear is 86, and a typical Gemini. It’s like living with two people – one a teddy Bear and the other a Bear with a sore head.
Whale is 82, my ex-husband, who became paralysed 15years ago after an undiagnosed prostate cancer metastased into a tunour close to his spine. The doctors gave him six weeks to live but a homeopath friend of ours took him under her wing and prescribed remedies which worked. Gradually some feeling and movement returned and hecould walk a little with the help of his walking frame. Three monthly injections of Zoladex keep the prostate cancer at bay. The other tumour shrank away thanks to homeopathic treatment However, Whale is obsessed with his medical ‘rights’ and complains loudly if the physios can’t come or the ambulance is late. Following a serious infection last Easter (2013) he is now confined to bed or wheelchair and a new system of care has been put in place.
My marriage to Bear was pretty miserable and so when I retired, I decided to come over to France and look after the Whale so that Jay and CC could be relieved from looking after their handicapped dad.
But it didn’t work out according to plan and we now have two unemployed adults living at home. It’s a great help for me but it’s also a waste of two young(ish) lives.
Bear begged and pleaded to be allowed to come and live with us as well – so that he could ‘help’ – and although it was pretty obvious he wanted to be looked after as well, we gave in and let him move in.
You could say the advantages of that decision are far outweighed by the disadvantages but it’s too late to send him back to England to manage on his own.