A Short Holiday

Some friends of ours were coming to Calais to shop. They only had three days – not long enough to come and see us so Bear and I took the train to Calais last Friday.

It was grey and miserable when we left but by the time we reached Valencienne the sun peeped out from behind the clouds and it stopped drizzling.

By the time we changed trains at Lille it was warm with blue sky and sunshine and at Calais, despite the strong breeze, it was like a real Summer’s day.

Our friends met us at the station and whisked us off to the hotel to check in before going to Auchan. We left them poring over the goodies and went for a coffee and snack  as we hadn’t had lunch and Bear has to eat regularly now he is on insulin.

He chose a ham and cheese sandwich which turned out to be a whole baguette while I had a rather disappointing Croque Monsieur – the bread wasn’t toasted so it was soggy – but it prevented us from fainting with hunger.

Our weekend was spent visiting Cap Gris Nez and Cap Blanc Nez, from where we could see England very clearly, watching out friends shopping, sitting on the beach (!) and eating.

During Saturday evening dinner Bear started complaining that I was less than enthusiastic about our forthcoing anniversary. We have often ‘laundered our dirty washing’ with these close friends but my heart sank when I forsaw it all coming out again. They’ve heard it all before and are careful not to take sides.

But this time, when he was bemoaning the fact that I didn’t love him any more (to get sympathy), while he loved me ‘as much as ever’ I’m afraid I had to get involved.

“Didn’t you realise how much I loved you? Didn’t you know how much you hurt me in the past? What did you think when I told you you were killing off my love for you by the treating me as you did?”

His response was a classic:  “I didn’t believe you”

Our friends were flabberghasted – and so was I: I’d  never heard that one before, but it was enough to lose him any sympathy instantly.

He realised this and shut up. Our friends decided it was time to retire and we went to our rooms. Nothing more was said but I couldn’t get to sleep for ages going over the past and getting nowhere.

2 Responses to “A Short Holiday”

  1. Z Says:

    Oh darling – somehow your last post didn’t arrive in my feedreader until now, so I’ve read them both together, and it’s quite devastating. You are such a kind and loving person and you deserve so much better. I understand that there’s too much commitment, because of the needs of all your family, for you to do anything about it. I do so hope that you will achieve happiness one day, as you deserve – and I’m so glad you have this blog where you can talk to people frankly and let your feelings out.

    I sort of feel bad that I’ve got a happy marriage – of course I don’t, but you know what I mean.

    If nothing else, celebrate your steadfastness and determination, and whatever good times there have been. Bear does love you in his (selfish) way, or else he wouldn’t care that you love your children and care for Whale. But my God, how you deserve much more.

  2. tillylil Says:

    I think he continues to play mind games with you and tries to make you feel guilty. He must know he has treated you badly but is in denial.
    What would happen if you refused to go and told him it is an anniversary you want to forget?

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