Bear and I have just been out for lunch in town. He used it as an opportunity to let fly about all the things that annoy him:
The fact that I seem to have more to say to Whale, CC and Jay than I do to him. “There’s too much talking. Talking should only be for communication” (??!!)
He doesn’t think I show him enough affection: I spend too much time on the computer (while he watches programmes on TV that I hate): and I never want to go out with him.
Whale is getting a bit more difficut in that he needs more help and therefore calls on me more frequently. True – but that’s not a crime.
CC and Jay still don’t have jobs. Again, true, but they are pretty depressed about it. Bear’s solution -“You’re not being a very good mother. You should kick them out and make them stand on their own two feet” – isn’t the answer.
He went on to say that if I had married someone else he would have killed Whale by now. “None of your friends can understand how I put up with it”.
I had managed to keep silent up until then, just trying to convey by my expression that this was not a good time nor place to be having a domestic but I couldn’t stop myself from retorting,
“If I’d married someone else, he might have been more supportive, and, anyway, if he had been kinder to CC amd Jay when they were younger they might not be in such difficulties today.”
This made Bear very angry. His expression became ugly, his eyes glinted with what I can only describe as hatred. He leaned forward and spat out his threat.
“If you’re going to keep bringing up the past I’ll kick you in the crotch when you stand up.”
It wasn’t pleasant and I half thought of walking out and getting a taxi home but, quite honestly, I’m kind of used to it. I knew he’d calm down fairly promptly. Besides, it was raining and it’s a fair walk to the station and the taxi rank.
As we walked back to the car he reverted to ‘normal’.
On the way I home I couldn’t help thnking that marriages can only really work if a couple pull together and support one another.
Otherwise they are just pulled further and further apart.